I was watching my children meet Jack for the second time. Wondering how they will feel about having a brother, wondering how I am going to parent a boy, wondering how I was going to manage four children. Nursing at midnight, rocking by daylight, dinner, toys, baths, homework...it was such frenetic energy with no time to sit and really wonder about anything at all.
And I guess what I got from that now is you really do just put one foot in front of the other and pray there is no oncoming bus. Could it really be that simple? You do what's in front of you, feed them, read to them, nag them to wear a coat...I dunno. I tried so hard for so long to parent with wild abandon. To be involved in every square inch of their lives...to create a world for them that is factory new. Organic broccoli, steamed to perfection with three other nutritionally balanced choices, each of every appropriate color. Cultural arts, dance, sports... And now I just wonder if more nights of just cereal for dinner, a warm blanket to hang under and no rushing to ballet or swim team might be more the way to go. I'm not ready to lead the next Slacker Mom revolution because I am entirely too Type A for that but it's nice to think about.
Did my long days of riding bikes after school with no helmet, drinking from the hose in the summer and eating white rice and mechanically processed meats create the frightening prospects we are reading about? I'm thinking our kids now are more neurotic and anxious than I ever was and yet they are more cared for, watched over and fussed with...I am not a statistician...hell I failed it twice in college but I just musing...
And let's just say while I don't have my pulse on this parenting shit...I can see it from here