Overwhelmed just doesn't cut it. Not that I am complaining - okay maybe just a little...having so much going on and actually feeling it means I am alive and no longer under the chemo coma but it still has its moments. Maddie being sick, Joseph struggling with job interviewing, a house that is about to be condemned by the board of health, three VERY busy kids with cabin fever and a desire to be at the pool every forty seconds and at some point, I need to get back to the gym. With all this, I am declaring a truce with my life. Back off or I will seriously freak out. If I get up earlier than normal, I am caught with a teen ager who needs history help, if I say up a little later I am met in the hallway with a preschooler who "can't sleep" and if I sit down for just one second, I am caught with a husband who sees his sitting wife and mistakes that for full attention. I am happy to be all those things - just maybe not all the time.
So today - it's too much. I am tired. To begin to get some control back, I cleaned my refrigerator. Scrubbed, cleaned and sparkling. Looks brand new. I am so proud. So excited and so relieved. One small corner of my world is in order. It was my 45 min contribution to my mental health and frankly I liked it better than the eliptical. So when I feel overwhelmed, I will head to the fridge to gaze and recollect. It's my glory. My happy place.