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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Their Dreams are Mine...

One of the most fascinating things about having a teenager is watching them evolve.  One of the most challenging parts is sucking your tongue back into your spleen when they do it in a way we don't like.  Okay don't like is harsh...don't agree with?  Don't feel comfortable with?  Hmmm...think is a bad, hideous, death inciting idea?  Yeah.

So what I can honestly say is this.  And I have learned this from you - other parents, who by the way are the BEST source of therapy, information and support.  Forget the books, skip the classes...grab yourself a few moms and a margarita and you will learn more parenting know-how than Dr Spock offered in his entire life.  But I digress...I watch my teen and tween fight, sweat and bleed their way into their own identify.  I watch it with pride.  Afterall, I taught them not to drink the kool aid and find out for themselves what life is about but I also suffer a little on the inside when it's not how I would do it.  Gasp. 

I had a rabbi once tell me something that I am holding on to.  Teenagers will crash your value system.  Tear it down, walk away from it and leave the home with their own set of ideals.  And then it happens...they form a family, raise their children and suddenly begin to build their own value system and the shocking but maybe-not-so part of it is...it will look alarmingly like yours.

So there ya have it.  I bite through my tongue until it bleeds, I smile, I hang on tight knowing these brave, sassy little people need to fight their way up the food chain without me behind them with a compass and hachet to ward off predators.  But I also realize I have exactly what I wanted...a young woman who won't conform, refuses to back down and despite my desired off switch, won't stop moving forward and onward.  So there she goes - tall, proud, smart and sassy in designer jeans.

But I can really do without the eye rolling.

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